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"Everything is falling apart. And here i am busy planning my ways to kill my demons without killing myself in process"

Sometimes i'm sad with no reason, its just that im sad. Like.... sad. Gelisah, sedih, takut. Kaya perasaan mau nangis yang ngga bisa dijelaskan. Padahal ngga ada apa-apa juga. Mau... nangis.

I am moody as hell. Literally yang 5 menit nyolot, 5 berikutnya ketawa-ketawa hina, dan bisa aja 5 menit berikutnya marah sambil hentak-hentak kaki. Ulangi siklus itu sampe bego, and you got me.

Im not exactly healthy. Tapi dibilang sakit juga engga bisa. . . Kaya i'm not made to do tiring shit tapi ya kalo sekali-sekali aja ya kuat lah walaupun mungkin hasilnya ga semaksimal itu.

I overthink. And sometimes i just forgot how to be me.

I wander and wonder. I do those daydreaming thing and often leave the reality behind. Because sometimes reality sucks and thats just it. Bengong, they said, is my way for escaping life.

I cry a lot. I sleep a lot. And i cried myself to sleep, a lot. Sebenernya ini terjadi baru-baru aja... but i think it has become a habit now, a really bad one.

i'd love to help people when i dont even know how to help myself.


And once i wished that people would need me as much as i need them
i need you.


but you,
you know that i was fragile but dropped me anyway
.